Yay!  You’re here.  Welcome.

What’s the one, little word with only five letters that defines every meaningful relationship?  TRUST.  Quite basically, mutual trust provides the framework for worthwhile relationships with friends, family, bosses, spouses and partners. It’s the rebar, the reinforcing bar, of lasting, sincere relationships.

In my previous book, Strong From the Start – Raising Confident and Resilient Kids, I’ve encouraged parents to trust themselves and their children. Blogs and videos on this site are here for you with several, user friendly, parenting tips.  On the lighter side, please take a look at my original, parenting “recipe.”  That is, just in case you happen to sustain a bump or two along the road while raising your kids!  Seriously, it is my hope that your belief in your child and yourself as a parent will generously reward you both, now and far into the future.

My newest book, Trust Your Doctor, But Not That Much!, (still under construction), continues our discussion about trust.  This time, however, it’s about trusting yourself within the healthcare community.  Partnering with your healthcare professional as an informed, intelligent, self-trusting advocate will serve you and your provider well.  Within the book you’ll find suggestions to help you deal with a scary diagnosis, access the best care and support, achieve mutual respect, prepare for a visit with your doctor and honestly, an awful lot more. Trust Your Doctor, But Not That Much! may seem as if it’s been written solely for people facing serious illness.  Actually, anyone visiting their healthcare provider for even a minor problem will find it a useful guide. Please check out my healthcare blog on this site for some brief, topical tips too.

After years spent working in doctor’s offices, hospitals, as a pharmaceutical representative, a national oncology trainer and finally, becoming a patient myself, I have learned an extremely valuable lesson: Patients who advocate for and trust themselves receive the most beneficial care. My goal, now, is to encourage you to receive the very same.

As you navigate through your own healthcare journey, do remember to help yourself to a spoonful of sugar.  It really does make the medicine go down a lot easier.



8 Responses to Welcome

  1. Carole Stonicfh says:

    Dearest Reina, I am looking forward to that book as another source of the inspiration and friendship you have always provided me over the 45 years we have known each other.

    The most interesting observation I have made during an almost 20 year relationship with my ( POS healthcare) Primary Care Physician has to do with the gradually reduced state of intimacy we have attained. In the beginning she seemed all caring and, while obviously very busy, looked me in the eye, occasionally shared a personal anecdote and seemed always receptive to a question or hypothesis. I have had the good fortune or good genes to have avoided any serious medical issues thus far and have, in recent years, become more and more involved in my own wellness. I work to take a more holistic approach whenever feasible and she has seemed to approve of this approach. Increasingly more often, she comes in the room, rattles off questions the answers to which she types in a computer and I feel as if I am just a series of boxes being checked. Her responses to my questions regarding aging are usually met with very blasé responses like “as we age we just become square” in response to questions about changes in weight and distribution, and the most often response to any question is “:that’s just a part of aging” or “as we age…”. I pay my co-pay and leave the annual exam with a bunch of referrals and a sense of being jipped. I am 69 years old, approx. 5’3, weigh around 128, walk rigorously a mile or three every day, do moderate weight lifting, stretching exercises and yoga-type moves. About a year ago I began a gluten free diet, also eliminating most dairy products and substitute sugar for raw stevia or agave when possible. I am doing what I feel necessary to improve my wellness based on the experiences of my friends, lots of reading and much trial and error and with almost no input from my Primary Care Physician who is now, to my dismay, just too busy or too riddled with paperwork to be much other than a source of referrals. I shudder to think how I would be feeling if I had not taken things into my own hands.

    Take care dear friend!
    Carole Stonich

    • reinarocks says:

      Carole; sorry about the delayed response. Just learning how to handle my website! Thanks for responding. I understand your point – having your physician really listen to you is essential. All of us patients need to be sure to ask our docs to stop typing notes while we’re talking. Also to make clear we get our concerns addressed – not just attributing it to our not “brand new” bodies.

  2. Dianne Poole says:

    Dear Reina,

    I havebeen fortunate too, to have inherited some good health genes, but have a Primary Physican who’s eager to help with anything I have concerns over. I’m not scheduled for several years to have another colonoscopy, but after being notified by 2 siblings of encapsulated polyps, one cancerous and one pre-cancerous in a short period of time, I left that information with her office assistant and suggested we revisit the timing of a colonoscopy. Two days later I received a call from my prior colonoscopy Doctors office, scheduling the test for me. I’m not surprised at the efficiency of my Doctors office, but rather strangely touched as I often am when engaging in even the most mundane of tasks there. I am listened to, taken seriously and feel cared for. It is something I don’t take for granted. I am grateful and let them know as often as I can, how much I appreciate their being proactive in my life and in my plans to stay healthy. Gratitude for how this is working for now, is the biggest spoonful of sugar in my current health plan.
    I am looking forward to more from you and will share and ask some friends to look at these issues in their, like mine, aging lives. Thanks sweetheart, would love to see you.

    Dianne Poole

    • reinarocks says:

      Thanks for replying, Diane. Love to hear stories about excellent, attentive health care. Appreciate your offer to share. Hope others find the info helpful.

  3. Carole Stonich says:

    Where can I get your book? Or shall I say when? Loved the first one – even without kids, I gave it to all of my nieces and nephews to use with theirs. I’d love some key phrases to use with docs who seem either to be glossing over my issues or moving faster than I can keep up. I think, like many of our generation, we still hold Doctors in high esteem and I, for one, am always reluctant to question or even give the appearance of disrespect (my southern wasp upbringing), so a chapter on “language” would be really helpful to me. Keep up the good work! Carole

    • reinarocks says:

      Haven’t finished the book yet. With building a custom home, traveling back and forth with all the ‘”picks,” it’s been busy. Thanks for supporting Strong From the Start and sharing it. To your question about how to address doctors who aren’t fully engaged or going too quickly, here are few thoughts: Prior to your visit do some research relating to your health concerns. Being well prepared for your visit with questions/concerns provides direction/focus and uses both your and the doc’s time well. Type out a list of questions – be specific – and bring your list. (Sometimes,I bring an extra copy for the doc. They laugh and ask if it’s a test. My answer: Could be!) “Doctor, I’m quite concerned about “xyz.” I’ve written up some questions about xyz I’d to discuss with you.” Then begin reading your questions. It’s hard for them to walk out while you’re still reading even though they’d like to.) Most important: ASK him/her to slow down if they’re going too quickly.You can tell her you’re old and can’t process too quickly, but she’ll get the point. In a nutshell, BE DIRECT AND TAKE CONTROL of the visit politely with a little humor, if possible, while expressing your sincere concern over your health issues. If all else fails, bring a new NY Jewish girl with you who won’t take no for an answer! Seriously, docs are so used to being in control (meeting their needs – time/insurance/notes,etc) that all of us patients need to assert ourselves to have our healthcare needs met. Take care, my good friend

  4. Pat Hurley says:

    Hi Reina, sorry we missed seeing you and Don when you were in CT this summer. Hope all is well. Just wanted you to know I’m really enjoying reading all your information so keep it coming! Scary to think how much medicine has changed since we worked together in the 70’s when a doctor actually looked at you and listened while you were speaking and waited to dictate his notes until after the appointment was over. Ah! The good old days! Keep the info coming; it reminds us we have to be our own advocate when it comes to medicine and make sure we ask the questions and get the answers.

    • reinarocks says:

      Hi Patty; Great to hear from you and thanks for your support. Boy, hasn’t medicine changed since GOPC. No more Pammie Jo with her lab coat flying! I just responded to an old friend who asked me for some “language” to get docs to slow down and listen (not type notes). It helps to hear so many of us have the same concerns. I think docs get so busy with all their own needs – notes,insurance,too many patients, etc – they forget patients have sincere needs they need met as well. You’re right – We’ve got to be our own advocates. If we don’t, who will. Love to your family. Reina

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